Failings

Back in April, I was getting a lot of feedback from friends, teachers, family and other people about things that I was doing wrong, things that I did that annoyed people, etc. Not that I'm not anymore, but I guess it peaked in April, because exactly 101 days ago I made a Failin.gs account (Yes, I know on the profile it says the 26th, but I made it on the 27th...). Failin.gs is an online profile that allows other people to anonymously post things that you could improve on. I shared it on my Twitter, Facebook and even right here on my blog (check sidebar), so that I could find out what people really wanted to say to me, without censoring / softening it in order to make it less harsh and not hurt my feelings or whatever. 


But that doesn't mean I necessarily agree with some of the things that people posted on the profile. To some extent, some of the things that were posted as failures, I actually do on purpose, and some are just part of who I am. Failin.gs allows you to sort the posts you receive into categories consisting of "I already knew this about me", "I had no idea" and "I totally disagree"; but to me that wasn't sufficient enough for a response. Hence why I am taking the time right now to address some of these posts. So let's take a look at what people said, starting with the one's with the highest number of votes.

"gotta shut up sometimes" (8 votes)

Seems like most people agree that I talk too much. I obviously can't deny that, I do talk more than the next guy, sometimes in situations where most people would stay silent and not utter a single word, but you know what? It's those exact times that most people would shut up and not say anything, that things need to be said or heard. Here is an example, I might see a friend crying, and ask them what's wrong. Following their initial refusal to talk, I insist. At that point, someone else may be thinking: "Jeez, he doesn't know when to shut up, does he?" That may be true, but at least I'm doing SOMETHING to help him/her out, whereas you are just standing there watching. Same goes for when someone is overstepping their boundaries and harming someone else or someone else's property. No matter how much bigger than me or tougher than me they are, I won't shut up and idly pass by. I have heard so many times from my friends: "Would you just let it go?" or "Man, you should learn to shut up.. you got lucky he didn't whoop ur butt". Hell no, I am not shutting up. I don't care what he does, I don't want to be the person who passed by and thought to themselves its best to keep quiet rather than speak out.
Sure these scenarios may not be the most common ones, but I just want to say, that most of the times that I don't shut up, I have good intentions and I am trying to help. If I really see that my talking or whatever isn't helping the situation, I then quiet down. All in all, I'm a talkative person. I'm not the silently-blend-in-and-don't-attract-any-attention type. If you don't like it, too bad. Don't tell me to shut up, just because you're too afraid to say something yourself.




"you need to man up and accept your mistakes" (6 votes)


It's good advice, but this seems like a specific case. In my defense, I would first like to say that although I can be headstrong and proud, I do admit to my wrongdoings willingly when I feel like I am responsible for something that went wrong. No one's perfect, especially me, and I make a lot of mistakes. Most of the time, I accept my mistake, but I also include the reason I made that mistake in my apology, so maybe that's what is leading people to think that I don't accept them. In reality, even when I seem like I'm making an excuse for my mistake, I have actually accepted it and have probably apologized too. I include the reason why I made it, for my own sake, so I know how not to make that mistake again. So maybe this specific case refers to that, and I hope I addressed it. However, there is also a chance that this refers to a situation where I refused to acknowledge a mistake that I made. In that case, I can assure you that I didn't do it. One thing I refuse to do (because previous experiences of shouldering the blame have been excruciating and terrible) is take the blame for something I was not responsible. If this is the case that is being referred to in this post, you can be sure I won't ever "accept" a mistake I didn't make.




"Sometimes when you talk in class you're not really saying anything" (6 votes)


Right. I agree, sometimes I say things just for the sake of having said something. But you would be really unfair to only point me out, considering so many other people do it too. I'm not trying to justify myself by saying that, it obviously is something to improve on, but its something that isn't exclusive to me.




"A lot of times you think you know what you're talking about, but you're really just making stuff up. Some people can't tell, but a lot can." (6 votes)


See above.
But do yourself and me a favour. Once in a while, when you think I'm "making stuff up" go and look up what I said and see whether they are indeed made up...




"stop being so loud" (4 votes)


Sorry, no can do. It's like saying stop being so tall. You'll just have to live with it I guess *shrug.




"You think that people hate you and you freak out about the little things. Be more self confident, not everybody needs to like you." (3 votes)


Okay this needs addressing.
First and foremost, I don't think people hate me. in fact, I consider myself respected and "liked" by the majority of people, otherwise I wouldn't be bold enough to approach people the way I do. Sure, there may be things that I do that people dislike (there is a whole bunch of them in big red fonts on this page), but that doesn't mean I think they hate me. I've been hated, and I know how it feels, and I am thankful that I am able to say that very few people truly hate me. However, being aware of those who generally dislike me rather than like me isn't anything bad in my books. It helps me regulate things. I know very well that not everyone needs to like me, and if you truly looked critically, you would notice that I don't change myself or behave in such a way that is appealing to the masses. Quite the opposite most of the times.




"Be less of everything" (2 votes)


And how exactly is that something to IMPROVE on? More importantly, how does it bother you in anyway? Back to the initial point though, I really don't understand how reducing your scope and abilities in a wide range of things makes you any better... Sorry, but this one is completely dismissed. I have strived my whole life to become more adept in a variety of things, and I'm not about to do a 180 cause of this post.




"Stalking me" (2 votes)


I'll be honest, I have not the slightest inclination as to who might have posted this. But clearly, more than one person seems to feel this is true, seeing it has 2 votes. Generally putting it out there though, if you think I stalk you, I don't. I don't have the time frankly, nor the slightest interest in what you do daily.
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The rest of these comments didn't get any votes, but still, let's take a look. Instead of the number of their votes, I'll put the category that I put them in on the Failin.gs profile.
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"Smile more?" (I had no idea)


Seriously? I always thought I was generally up beat and happy. Sure, I have days where I'm down, or times when I'm in deep thought and I'm not smiling, but I didn't think I don't smile enough...




"honestly? nothing. I seriously can't think of anything. Amin, you're amazing! It's cute that you would make this account though." (I totally disagree)


I put this in the strongly disagree section, because there is always something that one can improve on, and I'm quite sure you thought of a few before you decided: "nah, they aren't important enough to mention" and then posted the above. So THINK OF SOMETHING!
It is really sweet though, thanks =)




"Think less of how others think of you; I mean the fact that not only did you make a Failin.gs account, but you KEPT it; reposted on Facebook ..." (I had no idea)


I had no idea... because I wasn't thinking of this Failin.gs profile as a method to find out what others THINK of me. Rather, I pictured it as a way to receive constructive suggestions and angles of myself that I may have been oblivious to, so that I could consider them more effectively.




"You are sometimes hard to get along with, because you think so poorly of yourself and let others know that. Be confident in yourself :)" (I had no idea)


Now this is kind of hard to respond to, both because it's genuine, and because I disagree with the "think so poorly of yourself" and lack of confidence, but I cannot disagree with the initial statement. If I have been difficult to get along with for the reasons you mention, I am really sorry, and I am so glad that you took the time to let me know. There is no justification for that, and I will do my very best to keep it in mind and However, I just want to clarify my own standpoint on the other 2 points. I don't like to boast or be cocky (been told that far too many times), so I rather take a more modest approach and don't proclaim myself too much. If I have taken it too far to this extreme, I truly appreciate you letting me know, and I will most certainly keep it mind. I just wanted to say though, that I am perfectly aware of my abilities and prowess in certain areas, even though I may not admit to them.




"schizophrenia" (I had no idea)


"Schizophrenia is a mental disorder that makes it difficult to tell the difference between real and unreal experiences, to think logically, to have normal emotional responses, and to behave normally in social situations..."
I really didn't think I come across as illogical and abnormal in my emotional and social responses. A little odd and out of the ordinary sure, but you're pushing it here. I don't think that's justified at all.

"Take some stuff off your plate" (I already knew this about me)


I know I "should", but I don't want to. I have certain standards and goals for myself, that won't be achieved with an empty or half-full plate.




"Your driving ;)
just kidding, i'm sure eric had a great time" (I totally disagree)


Yes, this is a joke, but the totally disagree is for the mention about my driving. I know it's a tease and I don't mind at all =) But there are some people who are serious when they condescend my driving, so I will write a post specific to that, going into further detail. Just putting it out there though, you have no right to criticize my driving, if you don't drive yourself, and don't have nearly as much experience as I do.




"AWH THIS IS SO CUTE :)
i like this idea..you can probably guess who this is. As a friend i'd jus like to say: you're amazing just the way you are" (I totally disagree)


Thank you =) and yes I do have some idea who this might be. It's really sweet of you to say that! but I just wish you had something more specific to tell me about.




"Just be who you are, Nothing more, nothing less." (I already knew this about me)


Thought really hard to come up with that one, didn't you? Pardon the sarcasm, but honestly, that is the most cliche and overused line anyone could possibly say...




"You need to voice your opinion less. Although you have some great ideas, others do too. Not a big things, but you did say anything :P" (I had no idea)


This is genuine. And I fully respect it. I admit I had not considered it as much before, but thank you very much for the reminder. Truthfully, I am the type of person that gets an idea and gets so excited about it, I kinda just filter out whatever everyone else suggests - sometimes, not always. Regardless, it is a very valid point and I will do my very best to keep it in mind =)